A B C Bag of Tricks
by Chocolate and Drama
Summary: 25 drabbles that chronicle both the epic and the mundane that goes one behind the walls of the Sanctuary, especially with us interfering. Nikola's blood pressure has never been so high.


A is for ABBA, which is driving Nikola crazy

" One more look and I forget everything! Oowhoaha! Mamma Mia-!"

" One more ABBA song and I swear I shall hunt down the band and kill every one of them!"

B is for Book, which can come in handy

" Will, have you heard anything from Sierra and Amanda?" Magnus said, growing worried as she clicked the button on her radio. The only reason they had agreed to let the girls come with them on the missions is because there really wasn't any way they could stop them. She hadn't pulled every bit of respect the girls had for her into play too get them to stay at the Sanctuary because they could very well hold their own, and often added levity and comic relief to grim fight scenes. She heard their voices as she rounded the corner of the warehouse, gun held high.

" Well, in Whoville they say, that the Grinch's heart grew three sizes that day!"

She shook her head, biting back chuckles. The cabal agents were in a circle around the duo, listening to them read Doctor Seuss.

" What happens next?"

" Well Tommy,-"

She had to duck back behind the corner to conceal her giggles.

" We haven't seen the girls, are they okay?"

" They're perfectly fine Will. Say, do you like How the Grinch stole Christmas? "

C is for Collared Lemming, may he R. I. P

" But it's sooooo adorable! Why do we have to kill it?"

" Come on Sierra! It's for the good of John Druitt and Helen/ Druitt fans everywhere!"

" I suppose so...."

D is for Dino- Barbie which wasn't Henry's idea

" $19.95? Seriously Henry? Can't we have the friends and family discount?"

" Nope."

" If you don't give us two for free we'll tell Ashley you're selling her idea."

"Hee hee..... Do you want them gift wrapped?"

E is for Elephant, who is irked at our stupidity

" Okay, now all we need is a water source, and we can use Ellie here to spray the Cabal Agents away!"

" Umm, Sierra! Number one: We're in the middle of a warehouse. Two: i don't think Ellie will be very pleased when she finds out you've named an elephant after her. Three: I don't think that's physically possible, and if it is it's against the Geneva Convention.

" Humph. Back in the bag Ellie."

Fredrico the Chicken, enough said

" Evil Man! I suggest you surrender the Water Element to Magnus or you shall face the wrath of _Fredrico the chicken. _"

" What?!"

" FREDRICO! Plan number 14 b!"

An angry chicken flew forth on his jet pack with a taser on hand ( wing) straight toward the Cabal dude. Nameless Cabal Dude almost did not survive the encounter.

G is for Ginger snap cookies, which Henry desperately wants

Duh. Duh. Duh duh duh duh ba da ba BA ba da bad DA.  
Spy music played in Henrys head as he peered into the kitchen. The coast was clear. And there on tope of the stove, cooling, sat heaven on earth. Abandoning his carefully laid plans to get the Ginger Snap cookies, he dashed across the kitchen and reached out his hand-  
Smack. " Bad Puppy! These are for after dinner!"

H is for Harmonica, which is useful when locked in a cage

A sad tune wailed on the Harmonica. It was a jail house tune, used when one was behind bars, which they were. Amanda sighed as she looked down at the harmonica she was playing. perhaps they had taken it a little too far when they made paper boats out of Nikola's plans. And then sent them sailing down the river. Where a duck ate them. But really, they hadn't expected him to lock them in a cage. Sierra started on the next round of country songs. They could still annoy him from in here.

I is for Ipod, which helps in battle

Henry whimpered at the surrounding abnormals. They were invading the tiny tech station he had set up in the warehouse. The others were getting over run. He saw Amanda and Sierra bounce through the crowd, and up to him. They quickly shoved in IPod in his pocket, and earphones in his ears before he could say anything. A song started.  
Da. Buh Buh Buh, DA buh buuuuuh.  
With a wild grin he felt something spread inside of him. He leapt into the fray and started pulling off moves that would have made Jackie Chan proud. The girls watched him as he kicked butt, and silently thanked God for the inspirationall-ness of Eye of the Tiger

J is for Jet Packs, which are just awesome

it was so cliche and so climatic, the team fighting on the top of the Eiffel tower, with the elevator and stairs blocked of so there was no hope of rescue.  
" How are we going to get up there." Amanda sighed, looked over to her friends. Fredrico just glanced at the girls and tugged out his Jet Pack. Jet pack! Brilliant!  
The Cabal members on top just about had a coronary when help came in the form of two teenagers and chicken with three jet packs. Kate just threw her head back and laughed, then pushed Nameless Cabal Dude over the edge, where he conviently hit a travel mattress salesman.

K is for Kite, which is a very fickle thing

" RUN FASTER SIERRA!"  
" I'm running I'm running! You know, maybe we should try this with wind!"  
" I don't know, you guys are doing pretty well by yourselves."  
" Shut up Ashley."

L is for Lost things finder- majigger finder which is the lamest name ever

" It's beeping. Is that a good thing?"  
" Yes Sierra, it's means we're getting closer. Okay! It should be right... over .. there!"  
" MY EARRING! Oh Hallelujah!"

M is for Marbles which hurt like the Dickens

" Fredrico! Operation 51- 2!"  
Nameless Cabal Agent jumped. He had heard horrible things about Helen Magnus's new twosome, and their evil chicken. He had already been subjected to one too many pies in the face, and a seltzer bottle. He hated Seltzer. He looked up warily, as a chicken with a jet pack poured a basket containing dozens of marbles down on him.  
" Ouch. that's gonna bruise" Sierra commented to Amanda who rolled her eyes and smacked her friend, before leaping off to go scare more people.

N is for Notebook, which is a dangerous and wonderful thing

" HELP! Run for your lives! NO ONE IS SAFE! Except for maybe Fredrico. But anyway, RUN!"  
Will, Henry and Kate their heads out of the doors, alarmed. Helen leaned out and grabbed Amanda, who was bolting down the hallway after her friend.  
" What's going on?"  
" She's writing again!"  
" What!?"  
" Anything could happen! RUN FOR YOUR WELL-BEINGS BECAUSE I DOUBT SHE'S GOING TO KILL YOU!"  
" What is going on?" Kate demanded, unsettled. The girls were hardly ever fazed, as they could interfere with most things. If this was something beyond their control, it was bad. A glazed look came over Will. He grinned like a madman and Kate had a horrible De ja vue...  
" I CAN DANCE!" he yelled, as began an impressive Bollywood number, but smacked into his door and fainted. Kate began to feel hazy, like she was no longer controlling her actions. An elephant stormed down the hallway and evil laughter echoed from somewhere.

O is for Ostrich, which can be surprisingly obedient.

John hardly found it difficult to believe in six impossible things before breakfast anymore. Staying at the Sanctuary with the teen terrors made it only more easy. He was heading to breakfast when they passed by him.  
" Top o' the morning."  
" And to you,"  
"This is so much fun John!"  
" I bet it is Nigel."  
He gave a small wave as the three disappeared round the bend, riding happily atop complacent Ostriches.

P is for Pudding Gun, which hurts worse if you add chocolate chips

" Alright, listen up!" Surprisingly no one listened to the brunette. The blond next to her shook her head in a ' That's not going to work!' way. She sighed, in a ' I wish it didn't have to come to this.' way. The blond handed her a scary looking gun.  
" Shall I go for the ' Oi, like my gun? or ' Say hello to my little friend?"  
" ' Say hello to my little friend.' I'll cut off stranglers with ' Oi, like my gun?"  
A bit disappointed at not being able to mimic Rose Tyler, she climbed quickly up on the trash bin that stood t the end of the alley.  
" SAY HELLO TO MY LEETLE FRIEND!" Needless to say, now they listened.  
She opened fire on the Cabal group, pelting them with Vanilla Pudding, while Amanda went around and pinned the others with Chocolate.

Q is for Quasemodo action figure, and we have no idea how it got there.

" Give me ammo!" Sierra asked desperately, as Amanda dug hurriedly around in the black bag. She quickly shoved a plastic figure into her friends outstretched hand.  
" A hunchback toy thing? How they heck did that get- Aw, dangit Fredrico!"  
The chicken looked sheepish as Sierra quickly threw the plastic figures at one of their adversaries and then yelled at Amanda to keep looking in the bag  
R is for roller blades, which are quite a pest

" Oh the humanity!"  
" Why, why why WHY!"  
" This is so frustrating!"  
Will shook his head as he watched Ashley, Amanda, and Sierra valiantly attempt to rollerblade, and fail miserably

S is for Silly String, which is the scourge of vampires everywhere

" It's- not- WORKING!"  
" Try pressing the button thing!"  
Shpooshizt. It flew over her shoulder and hit somebody who happened to be standing right behind her.  
" RUN!" They screamed, as they took off with a very angry, full- vampire Nikola Tesla behind them

T is for Taser, which we should not be allowed to have

" Remember me Ashley?"  
The blond stopped and whirled around. There was a red haired woman staring back at her. Oh no, Oh no oh no!  
" Pity we lost you because of that malfunction. Of course, we probably have more then enough resources to continue the project- "  
She was shaking her head, stepping back blindly, mind whirling and her whole body panicking. The haunting Mozart tune played mockingly in her head.  
PZT. The red head let out a shriek as her body shook with blue energy. The Cabal woman collapsed under the two girls who had jumped on her with tazer gun.  
" That's what you get for being a psychopath, annoying, deranged, creepy-" Sierra shook her head at her friend, who had ruining the moment by her ranting.  
Ashley smiled and kicked a oncoming Nameless Cabal Guy where it counted. It had not been too much of a mistake to gift the girls with taser guns after all.

U is for Ukulele

Amanda dug round in her bag, desperately searching for something that would help their predicament ( Chased by giraffe- mammoth hybrid in a warehouse. Why did it always have to be Warehouses!?) She pulled out small, stringed instrument and groaned. What in the world where they going to do with a ukulele? Sierra turned to her worriedly, as they were backed into a corner by the fiendish animal.  
" Please tell me you've got something!"  
" yeah... Uh, hang on!"  
She reached into her bag and quickly pulled out Eben.  
" What the heck is going on? How id I get here? What is that?"  
" Never mind that boy, you can play the banjo, correct?"  
"Yes?"  
" Can you play the ukulele?"  
" I can try..."  
" Okay, here!"  
The nervous boy began to play a tune on the ukulele. It sounded nothing like his banjo skills, but it was better then what the girls could have done. The best sat down and listened for a while, and then started doing the hula.  
" Music can do a bit more then sooth the savage beast!" Sierra declared with a grin, as she hopped to join the hybrids' dance. Soon the creature was licking their faces and they decided it was safe for Eben to return home. They were expecting him to ask some question about his surroundings or what he had been asked to do, or even question why he was being asked to step back in a bag to return home, but he just complied. Catching the confused look on Sierra's face he said as he slip into the bag's depths  
" You've done way weirder things in class."

Vicks, which is copyrighted

" Ummm, Amanda you don't have a cold. Why are you carrying a bottle of Vicks around?"  
" I know. But Apolo Ohno sponsors them and he's cute!"  
" Apolo Ohno sponsors Dayquil. And that's just creepy."  
" ......... Oh."

W is for Wine Lock, which drives Nikola insane

He wasn't going to let this lock thing get the better of him, no sir. He grinned as he aimed his death ray at it.  
Twenty seven versions of his death ray later and no success, the moody scientist walked into the bookstore carefully. Surely one of the mortals would know the answer. He tapped blond girl who was reading and asked the question. The blond turned and familiar blue eyes met his own.  
" The girls have got you good Nikola."  
" Just answer the question Ashley."

X is for Xerxes and Xena, a happy couple

" Whatcha doing Amanda?"  
" Naming the Nubbins."  
" But there are like fifty....."  
" I know."  
" How close are you to being done?"  
" I'm waiting for Xavier to finish with Xena before I start counting again."  
" What do you mean finish- OH DEAR SWEET FISH STICKS! MY EYES! THEY BURN!"

Y is for Yeti the Yak, and Zolanda the Zebra, who take nonsense from no one.

Nameless Cabal Guy snuck very carefully up to the Sanctuary gates. They had a perfect plan! Pretend to be helpless abnormals, so they could infiltrate the Sanctuary! it was brilliant! Finally he would get the upper hand on those two girls! But then again... the nurse from the infirmary was cute. HE cleared his throat and stepped up to the imposing gates.  
" What you want fool?"  
" pardon.... me?" It was a talking Yak.  
" What you want fool? O I no what you want you want to come in! You know how I know? I can read your mind fool! I CAN READ IT FOOL! Now get outa here before I call Zolanda. TOO LATE FOOL! "  
He said all that in about five seconds. He was about to ask who Zolanda was, when a Zebra came out and turned around, aiming her back legs at him.  
Mimblewimble.

A/N If anyone can catch the Doctor Who and Harry Potter reference, you get SPECIAL PRIZE FOOL!


End file.
